An Australian woman has opened up about how being overweight ruined her sex life – and how she lost a staggering 63kg to change her life.

Kaitlyn Gonzalez, 27, from One Mile, NSW, developed an unhealthy relationship with food as a child – often skipping breakfast and eating regular McDonald’s meals.

As an adult she tipped the scales at 145kg – a size 22 – and was often reduced to tears by her reflection.

“Being 145kg was hard, but I was in denial about it. I honestly didn’t realise how big I actually was,” Kaitlyn said.

“Whenever I saw myself on security cameras or in windows walking past shops, I felt my stomach sink. I would look at myself and cry, feeling depressed and like I wasn’t worth being treated right because I mistreated myself.”

Explaining the toll her weight took on her life, Kaitlyn said it affected her in many ways.

“I couldn’t run, I wouldn’t wear skirts as my thighs rubbed so badly they would bleed, I wouldn’t go shopping with friends, I couldn’t ride a rollercoaster and I even struggled putting on socks and shoes,” she said.

“Although it didn’t cause extreme issues in my love life I was limited to one position because other positions hurt my knees and I worried about my stomach touching them.

“When I went to a uni day I remember standing there and a guy about ten metres away pointed at me and yelled ‘oh my god, she’s so fat!’ I cried but thankfully he did apologise after. I’ve also had men tell me they would date me if I wasn’t so big,” she added.

“I was always going out with my tiny and pretty friend and all the boys wanted her, I got no attention and felt out of place. I literally woke up one morning and said I’m done with being fat and I booked an appointment with my doctor to see a surgeon.”

In May 2017 Kaitlyn chose to have vertical sleeve gastrectomy (VSG) surgery.

But knowing it wasn’t a miracle cure, she put a large emphasis on fitness after that and worked out every day.

She also started eating more lean meats and lots of vegetables and within just one year she lost 68kg and now weighs just 77kg and wears a size eight.

Kaitlyn also struggled with excess skin and had two operations to have 3kg removed in February 2019 and a breast lift in October 2019.

Now Kaitlyn shares tips to her friends and family on how she managed to transform her body and life.

“Losing weight has changed my life because if I hadn’t have had the surgery to kick start me, I’d probably have diabetes or be close to dead now. I can walk into any clothing store, pull something off the rack and it fits me. I’m more active, people definitely respond to me better and I get more enjoyment out of every day,” Kaitlyn continued.

“I love how far I’ve come I love how much effort I’ve put in to coming this far. I do still look at myself sometimes and see the bigger girl however I now look in the mirror and be like ‘damn, skinny!’. Every day is different, but I know inside I’ve done so well.

“People are shocked when I tell them how much I’ve lost. They say ‘wow that’s a whole person’ I work in retail and get lots of regular customers who say I look amazing but that they didn’t think I was that big before.

“To those who don’t know where to start, I really suggest thinking about where you want to be. Don’t look at models but do look for people whose shape and fitness levels you like. It’s not going to be about being skinny, but it is about being fit, strong and healthy.”

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There’s an infamous Australian advertisement that has a grim reaper tossing a bowling ball down an alley in the direction of scared white families who serve as pins. “At first only gays and IV drug users were being killed by AIDS,” the cryptic voice narrates the scene. “But now, we know every one of us could be devastated by it.” Created in 1987, the commercial was indicative of the general sentiment toward the autoimmune disease at time, which was outright fear.

Thirty-two years later it’s no wonder that when celebrities like Johnathan Van Ness share with the world that they have HIV, it’s considered another form of bravely “coming out.” Since the 1980s, there has been a stigma about HIV/AIDS that Sarah Hall’s play, As Much As I Can, hopes to tackle.

“At its core, it’s a love letter,” Sarah tells Teen Vogue about the award-winning play that recently showed at NYC’s Public Theater to a sold-out audience. “It is intended to make sure that these men feel seen, feel heard, and feel loved. It’s also an opportunity for the audience to be active participants in the story and to help us create change.”

Unlike past portrayals of the sexually transmitted disease (i.e. Rent or Falsetto), this immersive play has a majority Black cast and revolves around three gay men who are coming to terms with their sexuality while also dealing with the prevalence of HIV in their community. Interspersed with a church scene, drag show performance, and barbershop talk, the play hopes to make the topic of preventative care, transmission, and treatment approachable.

“The biggest misnomer about HIV/AIDS today is that the disease isn’t an issue anymore because of medication,” says Emil Wilbekin, founder of Native Son, an advocacy and networking group for professional black gay men. “Unfortunately, Black gay men suffer the highest rates of infection in the United States today. The CDC reports that by 2020, one in two Black men who have sex with men will be HIV positive — that is half of our population.”

Emil, who has HIV and has been a huge proponent of dismembering the stigma, believes the best way people can help is by showing up. “The best way that people outside of the LGBTQI+ community can support those living with HIV/AIDS is to be compassionate, empathetic, and supportive,” he says. “Being human and loving goes a long way.”

Currently, Blacks/African Americans account for a higher proportion of new HIV diagnoses and people living with HIV, compared to other races/ethnicities — 43 percent of all new diagnosis to be exact. HIV is preventable with medications like PrEP, but Sarah believes the numbers and common misnomers about HIV have not highlighted the urgency of support needed in the Black, gay community.

“There are also so many misconceptions about why Black queer men are facing these infection rates and the statistics don’t communicate the whole story,” she says. “Black queer men are not able to access the standard of care that is available to treat and prevent HIV in the way that they should.”

“We need to change that on an institutional level. Equally as importantly we need to develop an extremely strong support system around these men because they deserve it and because it makes a big impact on the treatment and prevention of HIV.”

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A new figure has been put on the number of women in Australia living with endometriosis.

Researchers from The University of Queensland have found 1 in 9 Australian women are diagnosed with the inflammatory condition by the time they reach the age of 44.

The findings have been published in the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare’s Endometriosis in Australia: prevalence and hospitalisations report.

UQ School of Public Health researcher Dr. Ingrid Rowlands said she hoped defining the prevalence of endometriosis in Australia would help increase understanding of the condition.

“Numbers like this show how relatively common the condition is—it’s something likely to affect a significant amount of women throughout their lifetime,” Dr. Rowlands said.

“Endometriosis has been under-recognised in both the social and medical communities—many people do not know what it is, and doctors find it challenging to treat and manage patients who present with symptoms.

“This low level of understanding has contributed to a lack of knowledge and research into the condition itself.”

The inflammatory condition causes tissue similar to the lining of the uterus to grow on other organs including the ovaries, causing painful periods, heavy bleeding and possibly infertility.

“Some women might not be able to get out of bed because their symptoms are so severe -they may experience acute pain, irregular bleeding and bowel upsets.

“Whereas other women are asymptomatic with no pain or discomfort, so there are lots of variations to this complex condition.

“Symptoms of endometriosis can also mimic other conditions like Irritable Bowel Syndrome, so one of the greatest difficulties lies in diagnosis, which can only be made through surgery.”

It adds a layer of complexity to diagnosis and is thought to have contributed to the previously weak data estimates.

Endometriosis is a key part of the women’s health research programme led by Australian Longitudinal Study on Women’s Health director Professor Gita Mishra.

“These findings highlight the importance of having accurate statistics and represent our first step in contributing to the National Action Plan on Endometriosis,” Professor Mishra said.

The team counted the number of women in the study who said they had been diagnosed with endometriosis and linked this information to their health records to determine the numbers affected.

“There were no up-to-date, accurate estimates on the number of Australian women living with the condition before now,” Dr. Rowlands said.

“We are trying to provide the best data we can to build on this action plan and to inform future healthcare policy and practice.

“This is a debilitating condition for some women, and it is so important to identify the number of women affected to move forward, assess their condition closely and help optimise outcomes.”

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